I feel like I developed into who I was later in life. Sometimes, I feel like I have already missed out on so much time that I could have spent doing what I now know that I love. I need to look at it from the perspective of life being a journey, and it always will be. It was a journey to become a nurse, to learn how to thrive under the pressure of literally having to save someone’s life, to know that if I get or don’t get this IV in the vein might determine if the patient is able to receive life-saving treatment. I love it, I love the teamwork, the gift of being there for my patients, but I hate the politics, and honestly, it put me in a position to see a lot of the worst in humanity. 

I knew that. I knew that it is only a once in a lifetime moment for a small portion of humanity, but it was my every day. And I needed balance.

I love being an emergency room nurse, and I would do it over again if I had the option, but I was missing something, something that gave me peace. I was at my breaking point, and my husband graciously worked so that I could take 6 months off of work to figure everything out. I began to forage for this peace aimlessly, not having had the time in the past to think about what or who I was and what I loved. 

I decided one of the things that I cared about was raising awareness for real experiences in healthcare, as a patient or provider. So, I started hosting a podcast. I still do it! It’s called, “Let’s Chat Healthcare” if you’re interested. I also began working in a pediatric emergency room rather than with adults, and I love being a pediatric emergency room nurse.

But I was still missing that peace.

What gave me that peace? Nature. Wildlife. Purity. I’m not sure if it was my job as an emergency room nurse that drove me to crave this purity and peace, and I look forward to learning more about this desire. I began to study these desires through philosophers that I felt like I related to, Emerson and Walden, transcendentalists. I discovered that I believed that observing nature can lead you to truth.

There were a couple other steps that I might talk about in a later post that ultimately led to wildlife photography, but these are the beginning steps into my journey. It’s not about me. It’s about the wildlife and nature and caring for our planet, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the personal journey along the way. I’ve always cared about conservation but never knew how to pursue it, but I am learning every day. I feel thankful for the ability to take the time to discover my truth, I find peace and honesty when I observe and learn from nature and wildlife, and I look forward to pursuing this truth for the rest of my life.